Thai

Pad Kee Mao aka Drunken Noodle


Drunken noodle is the favorite dish of wasted Thai folk because its so packed with spice and flavor that even someone as wasted as Elysia can still taste it. MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT: the trick to this dish is to use an excessive amount of basil and hot peppers. If you're not sweating like Bread when you try it, add more spice. If you're not as basiled as Dylan on a hot tin roof, add more basil.


Ingredients:
Wide rice noodles from Thai Phat
Hoisin Sauce
Holy basil
Secular basil
Hot peppers galore (serranos will do the trick)
Garlic (duh)
Your favorite seasonal stir fry veggies


First things first: soak the rice noodles in warm water for 45-60 minutes, or until white and soft. Drain the noodles, then fry them up in the hoisin sauce and a bunch of garlic until they soak up the sauce and have a nice light brown color. Remove the noodles from the frying pan, and then stir fry the veggies, hot peppers, and more garlic. Don't overcook the veggies, please. Next, toss the noodles in with the veggies, add the holy basil, and fry for a few minutes. Right before you serve the dish, VIGOROUSLY chop the secular basil and mix it in raw.

 Thai Curry Sloppy Rice with Pineapple

      1  fresh pineapple

·         3  cups cooked rice, preferably several days old (Tip: if fresh, leave for an hour or more in the refrigerator uncovered)

·         3-4 Tbsp. chicken stock

·         2 shallots, finely chopped

·         3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

·         1 red or green chili

·         1 egg

·         ½ cup frozen peas

·         1 small carrot, grated

·         ½ cup roasted unsalted whole cashews

·         3 spring onions finely sliced

·         1/3 cup fresh coriander

·         STIR-FRY SAUCE:

·         2+1/2 Tbsp fish sauce, OR 3 Tbps. soy sauce if vegetarian

·          Thai or Regular curry powder

1.       If using old rice, pour 1-2 tsp. coconut oil or other vegetable oil onto your fingers and then run fingers through the rice, separating any chunks back into grains. Set aside.

2.       In a cup, stir the soy sauce/fish sauce together with the curry powder. Set aside.

3.       Drizzle 1-2 Tbsp. oil in a wok/large frying pan over medium-high heat. Add shallots, garlic, and chili, stir-frying until fragrant (1 minute). Whenever the wok/pan becomes dry, add a little stock (1/2 to 1 Tbsp. at a time to keep ingredients sizzling).

4.       Push ingredients aside and crack egg into wok, stirring quickly to cook (like making scrambled eggs).

5.       Add the carrot (if using) and peas. Stir-fry 1 minute in the same way, adding more stock if needed.

6.       Now add the rice, pineapple chunks, cashews, and raisins/currents. Drizzle the fish/soy sauce mixed with curry powder over and gently stir-fry to combine over medium-high to high heat until the rice "dances" (begins to make popping sounds) - about 3 minutes. Tip: Avoid adding any more stock from here on, or your rice will turn out soggy. Add a little more oil if pan becomes too dry (this is how the restaurants achieve that special 'shine' on their fried rice).

7.       Remove from heat. Do a taste-test for saltiness, adding more fish sauce or soy sauce until desired taste is achieved. If you happen to over-salt the dish, add a squeeze or two of lime juice.

8.       To serve, scoop rice onto a serving platter or individual plates and top with spring onions and coriander. ENJOY!

Thai Mango Chicken

Ingredients:
2-3 Ripe Mangos
2 lbs Chicken
Coriander
Basil
Hot Peppers
Soy sauce
Fish Sauce
Chopped Cashews

Red bell pepper
Garlic
Red Curry Sauce
Lime Juice
Lime zest or leaf
Flour
Salt, Pepper
Oil

Dice up the chicken into bite size pieces and then cover all the pieces with flour, salt and pepper.  Cook the chicken in skillet over medium high heat until cooked and nicely browned.  Set aside.  Next cut the mango away from skin and pit and but 3/4 of it into processor.  Add hot pepper, garlic, red curry sauce, soy sauce, fish sauce lime juice and zest, coriander and basil to taste and blend up. Make sure you taste it to make sure that you have achieved the perfect balance of spicy and sweet.  Heat mango sauce in skillet till it boils, turn down heat and add chicken, left over mango chunks and red bell pepper.  Cook for about 5 more minutes, top with cashews and serve.


Green Papaya Salad


This is apparently a popular street food in Thailand.  Because of this, it is important that you serve this fresh.  As soon as it is made, it should be eaten, otherwise it gets all mushy and watery.  I had the leftovers the next day--not nearly as good.  Still good, but just made me really want the freshies.

One large papaya
About four medium carrots
A few handfuls of dried shrimp--yes, dried shrimp.  It's the beef jerky of the sea.
A handful and a half of green beans
Four or five mediumish tomatoes
A few hot peppers
A few cloves of garlic
A few tablespoons of:
      fish sauce
      apple cider vinegar
      brown sugar
      cilantro
A few teaspoons of:
      salt
      black pepper
      fresh ginger
      lime leaves
5 or so cloves

First, put the black pepper, cloves, hot peppers, garlic, ginger, and dried shrimp all in a bowl.  Grind this all together like using a mortar and pestle.  Get creative--I just used the end of a rolling pin to grind it in the bowl.  Once ground, add the green beans--cut into 1-inch pieces--and the tomatoes--cut into bite-sized wedges.  Lightly crush these into the mix.

So make sure you get a green, or unripe, papaya.  I learned this week that papayas turn yellow when ripe, and they have a bunch of black seeds inside (who knew?!).  Anyway, you want to peel, deseed, and shred the papaya.  Shred the carrots as well and add both.  Lightly bruise the papaya and carrot in the mix.

Then add the rest of the ingredients, mix it up, and eat!

RAW

Asian Slaw


It really felt great ridding Erika's blanket hatred of slaw.  I was able to do this because this recipe doesn't require mayonnaise, so even those mayo-haters will like it.  Also, I have to thank Russell James of the Raw Chef Blog for this fantastically flavorful side dish.


1 teaspoon finely grated ginger
3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons tamari
1 teaspoon lime juice
1/4 cup almond butter
1/2 a head of Napa cabbage, sliced thin
1 medium carrot, ‘ribboned’ with a peeler
1/2 a red bell pepper, julienned fine
1/2 a yellow bell pepper, julienned fine
1 Thai chili, minced fine
2 green onions, finely sliced
Small handful cilantro, minced
2 tablespoons chiffonade mint


Blend first 5 ingredients in a high-speed blender.  Combine with remaining ingredients in a bowl.


Gazpacho

Ingredients:
2 Cucumbers
1 Summer Squash
Red bell pepper
Green bell pepper
Red Onion
Yellow Onion
whole garlic
spicy peppers
4 large tomatoes
Large can of crushed tomatoes
Various herbs
salt, pepper
Balsamic vinegar
olive oil

Having a food processor is pretty much necessary and makes this dish extremely easy.  Dylan tried to make it without one once and had cucumbers seeds stuck in his toes for 4 days.

First off, your going to want to make sure you get a bunch of fresh-ass produce.  Cool. Now, gather all the ingredients on a mondo sized cutting board and chop everything into good sized cubes that would be good for loading into your processor.  Next you are gonna start blending everything.  You wont be able to do it all at once so really think about which things you want to blend together. Start adding each mixture to a large pot or container until all the veggies are mixed together.  Don't forget to add the can of crushed tomatoes and also a generous amount of S&P.  Top with about a 1/4 cup of vinegar and maybe twice the amount of olive oil.  Garnish with your favorite herbs and make sure to get it nice and cold before serving.

You are really going to want to eat this soup with a nice baguette. Raw culture really kept my gazpacho from reaching its full superior, but magnanimous potential.





GUAC


4 avocados
1 chopped tomato
1 large clove of garlic minced
half a red onion chopped
dash of lemon juice
pinch of salt, pep, cumin, and cayenne
3 red bell peppers cut into strips for dipping


Mix everything together and dig in with the peppers!!!!!!

Breakfast Culture

Extra Spicy Bloody Marys

Nothing wakes you up in the morning like a scorching hot concoction of tomato juice and vodka.  I was never a huge fan of Bloody Marys, but now I know the reason was that I only tasted ones made by bland freaks. Also, I didn't use no stinkin' V8... only homemade tomato juice made with fresh, local tomatoes. Check it!

Ingredients

So many tomatoes it seems ridiculous
a bunch of basil and parsley
onion
hot sauce
lemon juice
Worcestershire sauce
prepared horseradish (extra horsey, if available)
salt and peppa
Vodka (gag)
Breads Hot Hot Hot Dilly Beans

First, toss the tomatoes, herbs, and onion in a food processor and puree um.  Put the puree in a pot and simmer it for 20-30 minutes. Strain out all the gunky stuff with a colander. Transfer the juice in to a big ol' mason jar. Next add the lemon juice, about 1 part lemon juice for 6 parts tomato juice. Add the rest of the ingredients to taste. You want this to be a real kick in the mouth, because nobody wants to taste nasty fucking vodka in the morning. NOBODY.  Once you get to Dylan's place, mix in the vodka (maybe 1 part vodka for every 3 parts tomato juice, unless you're an alcoholic or something) and pour over ice. Garnish with 2 spicy dilly beans, cuz no one really likes celery.


Three Egg Omelet


I made these omelets in the "French" style, as they say.  The ingredients I used were as follows, and, yes, I just had to get more lox and throw them in because they're just so damn delicious:

Egg - three per omelet
Lox
Crimini mushroom - sliced
Caramelized onion
Goat cheese
Avocado - sliced and salted
Garlic - sliced and diced
Milk
Salt
Pepper
Butter - yeah, you slather that pan, don't be shy

First, I cracked the eggs and wisked some milk into them.  I then added salt, pepper, and garlic.  Then, heat up a pan with a good deal of butter to a little hotter than medium heat.  Once hot, add the egg mixture (3 eggs at a time, of course), and let that fry for a few seconds.  When the bottom seems like it's solidifying, slide your spatula underneath and tilt the pan so the remaining liquid flows onto the frying surface.  Then add all the lox, mushroom, onion, and goat cheese to the middle area of the egg.  When the egg is mostly cooked but still moist, fold an outer third of the omelet over the filling.  Continue cooking for a few seconds longer, then fold the other third over.  Ideally, the outer egg will be browned and a little crunchy, while the inside is moist and melt-in-your-mouth delicious.  Oh and don't forget the avocado slices on top with salt and sprinkled on them.

Tapas!

Fennel-Fig-Almond-Olive-Grape Salad

(there's more in it, but it doesn't really roll off the tongue)

This cold salad takes very little preparation or skill, just fresh, quality ingredients & a little chopping. Everything in here is native to Spain and/or other parts of the Mediterranean region, but I used Vermont's versions wherever possible. Inspired by a recipe I found on http://whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com/

Fennel (1/2 bulb or less- that shit is potent!), sliced thin and chopped small

raw almonds, chopped into large pieces

red grapes, halved

kalmata olives, halved

dried figs, chopped up into chunks

Manchego, Pecorino,  fresh Parm or other hard, sharp cheese shaved thin (I used Grana, which is Italian, not Spanish, but slightly cheaper and no one seemed to notice the difference...)

basil

I threw some mint in there too cause it's one step away form blocking the entrance to our house

sunflower seeds (or any seeds you prefer)

lemon

balsamic vinegar

dash of honey or honey cup mustard, which I put on pretty much everything

Chop up your ingredients in a big ol' bowl and mix 'em up with the balsamic, honey and lemon juice (from a fresh lemon, not the bottle, you cheater!). Let it soak up all the flavors and experience a texture/taste overload.

Lox-wrapped cantaloupe with four-pepper goat cheese


Real simple; real delicious.  Someone who doesn't know you at the potluck might mistake you for a fancy person if you make these.


Lox - 12oz
Cantaloupe - about one
Goat cheese - 10oz
A bunch of toothpicks

 Cut the melon in half and gut it.  Scoop little balls out with a spoon--I used a measuring teaspoon because of its ideal circular shape.  Then pack a pinch of goat cheese on it, wrap it all up in the lox, and spear with a toothpick.  You should just buy the lox trimmings if your local deli offers it, or you can buy the fancy, perfectly sliced, thin lox if you're a richie who wants to pay three times the price.  Also, a fresh, local (Intervale Community Farm) cantaloupe really makes all the difference in both moisture- and flavor-factor.

Stuffed Jalapenos Wrapped in Bacon


Ingredients:
10 Jalapenos
Package of cream cheese
Garlic
Cheddar
Mexican Seasoning
Bacon
Herbs

Cut the Jalapenos in half and scoop out the seeds.  Mix the cream cheese with Mexican seasoning chopped garlic, cheddar and any herbs you desire.  Stuff the mixture into the jalapeno halves.  Next cook the bacon moderately so it is easy to work with. Wrap the bacon around the stuffed jalapeno and secure with a tooth pick.  Bake in the oven for about 25 minutes on 350 and you are all set.





Baked Cilantro Feta Tomatoes

The folks down at the Intervale Community Farm sent us home with a 20 tomatoes and some cilantro this week, so I figured I'd put them both to use.  Make sure to stuff these babies with some local cheese, and don't even think about using dry herbs or conventional tomatoes. Come on... tomatoes are in season here you dingus!

Ingredients:
Small, local tomatoes
Feta cheese
Smoked mozzarella
A bunch of fresh cilantro
Garlic
Butter
Bread crumbs

Chop up the cilantro and lots of garlic, then mash them in with the butter.  Vertically slice the tomatoes in half, scoop out the innards, and sprinkle them with salt and pepper. Add a piece of feta and a piece of mozzarella, then cover it with garlic cilantro butter. You can also add some of the cream cheese mixture used in the stuffed jalepenos. Generously cover them with bread crumbs, then cook in the over for 15-20 minutes at 400 degrees.